


Three Years

by littleshopofhoruss



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Dialogue-Only, Gender Dysphoria, Homestuck Shipping World Cup, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Mixed Metaphors a la Strider, Multi, Non-Explicit Sex, Sibling Incest, because harleyberts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-14
Updated: 2014-10-14
Packaged: 2018-02-21 04:37:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2454986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littleshopofhoruss/pseuds/littleshopofhoruss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>HSWC 2014, BR1. "Remember when the trio were stuck on the ship together and got surprisingly close in every manner?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Three Years

**Author's Note:**

> A fill for [this prompt.](http://hs-worldcup.dreamwidth.org/18819.html?thread=3356035#cmt3356035)

“No, dude, you have to try the game! Ghostbusters is like a classic of MMOs!”

“John, I think I speak for literally every game construct on board this ship when I say I have better things to do. And that’s really saying something.”

“Oh, shut up, Davesprite! He’s trying to get you to do something fun so you’re not whining about how bored you are for three years. It’ll get you out of your shell a little, right?”

“Out of my shell? As in eggshell? Wow, Harley. Very rude. I’m feeling pretty fuckin’ triggered over here, better get your tags out on this shit.”

“Tags? What are you talking about, Dave Sprite?”

“Kankri. Don’t you remember that little shit from the bubbles, John?”

“I thought her name was Kanaya. What happened with her?”

“Oh christ. You’ve really never had the pleasure of shooting the shit with the most annoying troll to have made it out of the alpha session?”

“...Alpha session?!”

“Okay, close your mouths and sit your pretty asses down. It’s storytime, motherfuckers- the Tale of the Dozen Douchebag Dancestors...”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Okay, so this is pretty much a sleepover anyway- you think we should share our deepest darkest secrets?”

“Yeah right, Jade. You know everything there is to know about me. I’m an open book over here- right down to the mole on my ass shaped like Barbara Streisand jamming on the accordion.”

“...Dave, you’re not wearing any pants. You don’t have any moles on your ass, and we can all see that.”

“Wow, and you’re looking? Very rude. Thought you’d at least buy me dinner first.”

“I baked you a cake earlier! Doesn’t that buy me any leeway?”

“Hold still, you fuckasses! You’re going to mess up your nail polish if you keep trying to fight each other!”

“Sorry, Jade.”

“You know, you guys really suck at this whole slumber party thing…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Dave.”

“Yo, Egghead. What’s the haps?”

“The haps is that you made a blanket nest on top of my bed.”

“Gotta be somewhere. And it’s not a blanket nest- there’s some pillows in there too.”

“Oh my god. I give up.”

“Don’t fight it, man. Just embrace the madness. Already got Harley snuggled up in this blanket nest straightjacket, banging her head on the padded walls-”

“Hi John!”

“Holy shit! Were you hiding in there?”

“Come on in, John! It’s a cuddle puddle!”

“You two are so weird. But okay.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What? I lost? No way!”

“Sorry, John! It’s not our fault you suck at poker!”

“Yeah, Egbert. Better get some tissues, because you’ve read ‘em and wept.”

“You guys have to be cheating- I mean, Dave Sprite didn’t even have any clothes on when we started! How’d I lose?!”

“Whoa, whoa. Didn’t have any clothes on- do you not see the sock on the end of my tail? A, I had it on when we started. B, I still have it on. And I’m pretty sure that A plus B means we get to C you without your boxers now.”

“God dammit Dave Sprite. Jade, you might want to close your eyes until the feathery perv gets the peek he wants.”

“No can do. Me and Davesprite have to keep playing to see who comes in second place. Besides, I want to see if yours is bigger than mine!”

“...your what?”

“... your _what_?!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Shit! Shit, slow down, John- starting to hurt!”

“Sor-ah!- sorry Dave, I- Jade, pass the lube-”

“Here. Oh...John, I don’t think I can hold on much longer…”

“Okay- I’m ready whe-oof- whenever you are-better, Dave?”

“Fffffuck yes- come on Jade, see if we can all come at once!”

“I’ll...Ah! I’ll try, but I’m gonna… Fuck! fuck! Hold onto me!”

“Shit, Jade! Don’t do the spacey thing ah- again!”

“I can’t help it! I- fuck- John-”

“Dave-”

“Jade-”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"...I hate myself."

"Shit, that was unexpected. Karkat been rubbing off on you?"

"Shut up, Davesprite! This is serious!"

"-I mean, I used to hate myself. Guess that would be a little more accurate."

"Okay, but why'd you bring this up?"

"Remember how you asked us about our deepest secrets a while ago? I just sort of realized that I never told you guys. And I felt like if I was going to be a part of this... whatever we are, I've got to be totally honest with you guys. So: I used to hate myself."

"Damn. I'd say you always seemed so happy, but I know that don't mean shit."

"You didn't- you know..."

"Only once. I mean, I tried- stole one of Dad's razors and got everything ready, but I couldn't go through with it. I know it's supposed to hurt, but-"

"Dude, dude, stop. Trigger warning."

"Sorry, Dave. But yeah. I used to write all over my walls when I slept about how dumb I was."

"I remember that! You drew a bunch of clowns, too- all over your Prospit room."

"Except I drew them on my real room too. It's why my dad stocked up the house with harlequins- he was just trying to help out."

"Eh. All things considered, it could've been worse."

"Not by much. Anyway, that's my big secret. I'm getting better."

"See, mine looks kind of dumb when you put it next to that."

"Let's hear it anyway, Jade. If I'm totally honest, you should be too."

"I'm not a girl. Or, uh, not exactly. Like, sometimes I am, but sometimes I want to be a boy, and sometimes I'm just a weird male-y female-y wibbly wobbly ball of... stuff, I guess."

"Oh, so you're genderfluid?"

"You actually know what that is?" "Rose gave me a lecture about respecting people's identities after she told me she used to be Ross. Genderfluid came up in there somewhere."

"Huh. I never heard about this- did you, Davesprite?"

"Didn't need to. The dick didn't disappear thanks to some kernelsprite shenanigan shit- I used to be Dove Strider."

"And you changed your name to Dave?"

"Actually, I never really felt like a guy either. Dove's just a really fucking stupid name. I'm whoopass incarnate, not some pigeon with a good PR team."

"Huh. So I don't have to change my name or anything if I don't want to?"

"Of course not. Dave may be a dude's name, but badassery knows no gender."

"Hehehe, you dork. I never would have guessed we'd both be gender-wobbly! How do you deal with it when you feel like your body doesn't match up, anyway?"

"Hey, Jade, you ever tried using the spacey thing to make you feel less dysphoric? I feel like that might work- you know, shrink down your boobs when you're a boy, shrink down your dick when you're a girl..."

"...Holy shit, John. You're a genius!"

"Yeah, whatever you say, Jade."

"We'll have to try that tomorrow... We're both gender-wobbly, huh. And we're getting better. Guess you got both our secrets in one blow, John!"

"...Not really. I mean, the gender thing was kind of secret, but if we're gettign all deep and shit, we might as well hit up the jackpot at the Freudian Bullshit Casino."

"Oh? What is it, Davesprite?"

"For the longest time... Fuck it, I can't frame it all poetic like you guys can. I thought I couldn't love."

"I dunno, that sounds pretty poetic to me-"

"John, shut up! Keep going, Dave- we're listening."

"Uh- I don't know, man. Like, back when I was just Dave I thought I'd never be able to love anybody, you know? Straight up not capable of it. Not ace or arom- broken."

"Like, you wanted to but couldn't?"

"Badda motherfucking bing. Growing up with a puppet porn mogul whose idea of family game night involves swords does a number on a kid, and getting your brain mushed together with a bird? You're fucked, man. I thought for sure my head and my heart were so fucked up that I'd never really be able to connect with someone else."

"Holy shit. Do you still...?"

"Fuck no. You guys proved me so fucking wrong. Y'all are the Copernicus to my Ptolemy over here- the sun is at the center of the universe, the Earth runs around it, and Dave Elizabeth Strider loves his bitches one hundred percent. I'm not totally normal, and I don't know if I ever will be, but I'm getting better."

"The sun's not really at the center of the universe, Davesprite."

"Shhhhh. Only metaphors now."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Ding ding, motherfuckers.”

“Okay, what asshole prototyped a bell?”

“Ha ha, Jade. For those of you not tuned into the inner workings of this weirdass game construct we call Time, that was one year.”

“Since we entered the game? Or since we got on the battleship?”

“Since John turned 13, actually. The other two will be coming up a little later.”

“Damn. You have all those things memorized? What about my birthday?”

“As if I wouldn't, Harley. I don’t play favorites when it comes to you two.”

“Pff. Feathery asshole.” “Technically, it’s about the only place that isn’t-”

“Oh god, John. Don’t finish that sentence- you’re scaring the consorts.”

“It’s not like they’re not listening to us. Now come here- any chance I can get some birthday cuddles?”

“Anything for my favorite Winddork.”

“Heh. Here’s to two more years together, right?”


End file.
